Jet: Stay-at-home moms: from boardrooms to baby bottles - Lifestyles

Jet: Stay-at-home moms: from boardrooms to baby bottles - Lifestyles:

"Jolene Ivey's parenting experience is not that different from Howell's or Mattox's. As a child, Ivey, 42, was a latchkey kid until junior high school, when her stepmother retired.

"It was an amazing thing for me to come home to her. She would have dinner cooking and be there to talk. It was great! I decided then that my kids would have me at home instead of going to a baby sitter," explains Ivey.

"When I started dating my husband, I told him that I wanted to get married, have kids and stay home, and if he wasn't interested, then we didn't need to keep dating. He was comfortable with that, and it has worked out great for us." Today, Ivey and her husband Glenn, state's attorney for Prince George's County, MD, are the parents of five boys: Alex, 13, David, 10, Julian, 8, Troy, 5, and Aaron, 3.

After some time of only having her boys to keep her company, Ivey, once a press secretary on Capitol Hill, longed for the conversation of other mothers in her situation.

"Sometimes I just felt lonely for other women who were experiencing the same kind of life I was living," says Ivey.

"White moms don't necessarily look at things the way [we] do."

In the spring of 1997 Ivey and friend Karla Chustz had the idea to publish a newsletter, Mocha Moms, in hopes of connecting with other mothers of color across the country who were taking time off from their careers to raise their children. That April the first newsletter was published and the first support meeting followed in January of 1998.

The word about the newsletter and the organization spread fast.

"Word of mouth was also critical," says Ivey, who lives in Cheverly, MD. "We mailed or gave [the newsletter] to anyone we thought would be interested. I also posted notices at online bulletin boards that targeted African-American mothers. Black at-home moms just started coming out of the woodwork!"

Today Mocha Moms, Inc. has 120 chapters all across the United States with a membership of more than 1,000, including Howell, who serves as the Atlanta chapter's co-president and Mattox who is Essex County, NJ, president and the director of national media relations.

The organization has become well known and takes pride in its community service projects and volunteerism as well as its support for its fellow stay-at-home moms.

Ivey is pleased with the fact that what once started out as a simple supportive newsletter has grown into something far greater than she expected.

"Believe me," Ivey says, "I'm not lonely anymore!"

COPYRIGHT 2003 Johnson Publishing Co.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Gale Group"

Mocha Moms Give Each Other Support

Mocha Moms Give Each Other Support: "Brown Angels


Mocha Moms Give Each Other Support
The founders of this month's Brown Angel organization decided to create a support network for Black at-home moms
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Do You Know Someone Who Is a Brown Angel?


It isn't easy to go from being a full-time working professional to being a full-time parent. Previously you may have had clear-cut responsibilities and hours, people reporting to you, a title, and a paycheck. Now your everyday tasks are changing diapers, cooking dinner, and running a household--all for free.

So states Jolene Ivey, cofounder of Mocha Moms Inc., a mutual support group for Black at-home mothers. Started in Prince George's County, Maryland, five years ago, the nonprofit organization now has 78 chapters nationwide, each chapter with an average of 30 members.

Mothers of all races have some things in common, such as the pleasure of sharing the small, precious moments of their children's development--and the pain of social isolation. Moms who left professional careers often face a lack of approval and understanding from family and friends, who tend to see them as having wasted their hard-earned education by quitting the labor force.

Black women face additional pressures, such as the challenge of raising Black boys, notes Ivey, a former television producer in Washington, D.C., who also has five sons.

The Mocha Moms concept began in 1997 as a newsletter put together by Ivey and former computer programmer Karla Chustz, a stay-at-home mom of two boys who lives in Austin, Texas. The goal was to connect with other at-home moms and to encourage them to feel good about their choice.

Later that year, Ivey and Chustz teamed up with Cheli English-Figaro, a Maryland lawyer, wife, and mother of two. English-Figaro helped organize the first meeting of at-home moms in her area--a group that eventually became the group's first official chapter--and also helped turn Mocha Moms into a national, and incorporated, group.

Now Mocha Moms members meet weekly to discuss everything from toddler tantrums to homeschooling. There are also monthly mom-only outings, which include book club discussions, movie dates, and spa treatments.

The mothers help out one another by doing chores such as baby-sitting and creating "meal trains" for members who are ailing or who have just given birth. Mocha Moms doesn't discriminate, either; there are a few White members--mostly women in interracial relationships--and even some Mocha Dads.

While members choose not to work full-time outside the home, a number of Mocha Moms do work part-time, whether during weekends, night shifts, or flex hours. In fact, half of the moms are home-based entrepreneurs and independent contractors. Members range in age from their mid-20s to late 40s; the majority of them are married, but there are single moms too.

English-Figaro describes most members as former career women who made real financial sacrifices to stay home and raise their children. Many had to adjust from having a dual-income household to living off their husband's salary, she notes.

NiaOnline acknowledges the Mocha Moms organization as this month's Brown Angel because of its advocacy and support of the needs of at-home mothers of color. Here, English-Figaro talks about why the group is so important."

Jolene Ivey Living The American Dream

US Population Stable Due to Higher Birth Rate and Immigration: "US Population Stable Due to Higher Birth Rate and Immigration
By Leta Hong Fincher
Washington
08 March 2005

Most of the rich, developed countries in the world are facing an aging crisis, as their fertility rates fall to unprecedented lows. But analysts say the United States is better equipped to deal with the challenges of aging than almost any other developed country--thanks to its relatively high birth rates and immigration.

Jolene Ivey reads to her three sons
Jolene Ivey has always dreamed of having a large family.

"Aaron, your big piece is ready to go, come over here and help David," says Jolene Ivey.

Now, Ms. Ivey is living her childhood dream. She and her husband Glenn live in suburban Maryland with their five sons aged five to 15.

"I did it all by myself!" says one of the boys.

"Well, I just have one brother and it seemed like it would be fun to have a big family, and I read those books, you know, 'cheaper by the dozen' kind of thing. And it just seemed like fun to have a lot of siblings," says Ms. Ivey.

American families like the Ivey’s are helping to drive U.S. fertility levels higher than those of almost every other developed country. The United Nations Population Division says that all around the world, fertility levels have fallen sharply since the 1970s. But the United States is almost unique among developed countries in defying this demographic trend.

"The population of the U.S. is going to grow probably by another 100 million people over the next 50 years. And the major reason for that is the higher fertility rate than is the case in a lot of other developed countries," says Mr. Frey.

The United Nations says that Americans have maintained their birth rate at an average of just above two children per woman, about the level needed to keep the population stable.

In the 1970s, American birth rates dipped as women began to enter the work force in larger numbers.

In the late 1980s, however, American fertility began to rise again, just as European fertility kept declining to new lows.

Mr. Frey says the American dream of having two or more children may have been sustained by the steady growth of suburban housing outside urban areas. In 2000, more than half of Americans lived in the suburbs, where Mr. Frey says the infrastructure is most supportive of family life.

"Not all of them have families, not all of them are capable of having families. But if you don't have a family, and you don't have children, there's something in the back of your head I think for a lot of people that makes you feel a little bit left out in the United States," says Bill Frey.

Mr. Frey says another reason for American population growth is immigration. The United States accepted some 11 million legal immigrants in the 1990s and immigration rates are expected to stay high. Immigrants to the United States also have higher birth rates than the native-born population.

"America is actually well positioned to confront the age wave. It has the youngest population in the developed world. And thanks to our higher rate of fertility and our substantial rate of net immigration, we'll have the youngest population by an even wider margin 20 or 30 years from now," says Mr. Jackson.

Still, some argue that the United States cannot afford to be optimistic about its demographic future. Phil Longman is a demographer at the New America Foundation research group in Washington D.C.

Phil Longman, Demographer
"The great vulnerability of the U.S. is its cost of health care, which is so much dramatically higher than literally anywhere else in the world. Without any commensurate improvements in public health, Americans live shorter lives with greater disabilities than people who live in countries that spend half as much on health care," says Mr. Longman.

As Americans plan for their future, parents like Jolene Ivey are counting on their children to support each other.

"When my husband and I get old and frail and feeble-minded, they'll have each other to call and go 'do you know what mom said?' you know and that'll be good for them," says Ms. Ivey.

It will also be good for the future of the United States, which most demographers say will be in a healthier position than almost all of its developed country neighbors."